sam @fakescenarios-tohelpyousleep - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag (2024)

navigation

to do listmasterlist

latest post --> exile| aaron hotchner

exile| aaron hotchner

summary| returning to her hometown, lehighton dawson's relationship with her unit chief gets revealed

"Are you being serious right now Aaron! I'm barely back on the team for a month and you're excluding me from cases?" I storm into the room as all eyes fall onto me, JJ was standing with the remote in hand reading the case information to the team while Garcia stumbles into the room behind me, failing her mission to make me late enough to miss the briefing. A mission which was set into motion upon the unit chief's request.

"I'm sorry sir, I tried-" "It's alright, Garcia."

After an abrupt resignation from the team about a year and a half ago, for reasons much unknown to my teammates, I decided to return to Quantico and the life... and people i left behind. Straight out of college, at the ripe age of 23, I joined the team of experienced profilers. Experienced as they were, however, none of them could profile me from the second I stepped into the BAU... and it was wonderful. Even with our rules about not profiling each other, we still do. And it can be suffocating, at least I can only imagine. We spend enough time with each other as a group that they do not need to know every single thing about me and my personal life. Hell my personal life could've costed me my job.

From Rossi to Derek, all the way to unit chief Aaron Hotcher, the people who knew me better than myself at times, could not read me even after working together for years. Unintimidating as I might look, stood at roughly 5'5 with long mousy brown hair and blue eyes, Derek would even admit to being scared of me in one way or another. Everyone on the team had met a case that shook them to their core and caused them trauma, expect me... besides the case that caused me to leave the team.

It was no secret I had a good relationship with our unit chief, it became no secret the moment I joined Rossi and Strauss in being the only people who call him by his first name and not his last.

My 'power' as Garcia puts it, comes in handy in many ways in the world of my job. Unsubs can't tell if you're lying and the team could never profile my relationship with Aaron Hotchner.

Looking at the screen, like most times, it's a line up of women. Around the same age group, red heads and brunettes. Snatching the closest file, in this case it happens to be Spencer's, my eyes scan over the case and they land on one specific detail... the location. "You've gotta be kidding me-" I scoff, throwing the case file back onto the table in front of Spencer. "There is a serial killer in my hometown, where MY FAMILY lives and you thought the best thing would be to keep it from me?" "It's considered a conflict on interest." Aaron Hotchner says lying straight threw his teeth. "You shouldn't be talking to me about conflicts of interest Aaron." A gasp filled the room at the knife I just turned in the side of Aaron Hotchner. I knew it hurt, but I didn't care. He was being ridiculous.

"Hotch, maybe Leighton's right." Derek spoke, seeing the tension fill between his boss and coworker. "Yeah, she could give us inside information. She knows the area well and the people." Emily now joined in on my side. Hotch stood shaking his head. "Aaron I don't care what you say, I'm going on this case with or without your permission- Wheels up in 30." I speak, disrespect filling my voice. If I was any other agent, Aaron would've yelled and suspended me in a heartbeat. But I wasn't any other agent. I'm Leighton Dawson and he can't handle loosing me again.

__

"You know, for there being a killer on the loose and our very own Lehighton Dawson being from Acosta, we really know nothing about this town." Derek slyly speaks, sliding himself into the seat across from me on the jet. Spencer next to me and JJ across from him. Rossi and Hotch were both sat across the isle from us and Emily on the couch behind us, who soon joined on the arm rest besides Derek. I shrug, only glancing up from the file for a moment before returning to it.

“What do you want to know? It’s like every other small town on the east coast.” “What a description, what kind of trauma did it cause you for you to be talking about it like that?” Emily was joking and I knew it but I couldn’t help the death glare that I shot her way. Maybe it was my look that made her regret saying it, or perhaps it was the even harder glare Hotch was sending her as well. “It was a joke.” Emily quickly clarified, I nod at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, it’s just, I don’t like it there. It’s that simple.” I didn’t even need to glance at Aaron to know what his facial expression was. His jaw was set tight. He and only he knew my story and they made him angry. Despite the worse conditions he was raised in, the fact that I had smaller burdens still bother him in a way I can’t understand.

__

“Are you doing okay?” Aaron suddenly appears at my side, I’m standing staring into the room where Chrissy Langdon’s parents and 3 sisters were sitting. Chrissy and I had graduated together, we were friends and worked together, however, we ended our high school experience on bad terms. JJ was speaking to them after I already had. They were a mess. It was horrible to watch. After three days of being in Acosta and no clues, leads or anything, this was not what the team needed. This is not what I needed. “This is honestly one of the worst days of my entire life.” Aaron side eyes me in that moment, he knows that this day does not remotely make it to the top 10 of my worst list, but he understands what I’m trying to say. I must have looked so defeated at that moment. “I told you, you should've come.” “You know, as a bitter teenager, I wished this girl dead so many times-” Aaron’s face drops at my sudden confession. “Hell, I wished myself dead so that she felt some type of pain, but I never actually meant that you know?” From a body jerk, I could tell, he was about to reach out and place a hand of comfort on my shoulder, but he stopped himself, he didn’t want to cross a line.

__

“We will find whoever did this Lehighton.” Derek’s voice pulled me back into the moment. All eyes of the team were staring me down in my chair at the table. The noise of the restaurant was all I could focus on. “Is it bad that I honestly don’t care at this moment. I have nothing left to feel anymore.” Little did the rest of the team know, right before leaving for dinner Emily had to come into my hotel room and pick my sobbing, hyperventilating body off of the floor. “You’re tired, we’re all tired. Something will come up, I can feel it.” JJ added, trying to give a glimpse of hope to our seemingly hopeless team. “Lehighton Dawson?” My head snaps at the voice, Sierra Deacon and Lillian Ross. 2 girls I met in high school and followed through with me to college and both ended back in Acosta working as river guides and park rangers in the surrounding area. “Holy cow!” I jumped at the sight of them, they were comforting in this situation. Sierra was also friends with Chirssy in high school, I really needed her at this moment. My moment of peace came to a close as I opened my eyes while in the middle of a 3 way hug with them and the other guides they came into the restaurant with came into view. Carson White, my first ex-boyfriend. The one who made me finally decide to leave this town and never look back. “Carson?” My body fell lump in their arms and they both let go and allowed me to step back, defensively. “Hey Lehighton, how the hell are ya?” He reached forward for a hug, and my body snapped stiff as he touched me. I vowed to never let this man ever touch me again. Before I could process, Aaron was at my side while Derek was at the other and bless him, Spencer stood behind me. “Aaron Hotcher, unit chief.” “What he means, we work with Lehighton at the FBI, Derek Morgan.” Derek steps in. “Nice to meet you- Didn’t know you made it to the FBI.” “Funny what you could learn if you don’t block people.” Sierra speaks under her breath and I can’t help but laugh very loudly at the uncomfortable situation. As my catch my breath, I could feel tears forming in my eyes, and Aaron’s hand on my back

__

I didn’t notice Aaron on the lobby couch when I ran from the hotel early that morning. It was misting and blurry, my glasses were not on and I didn’t want to see anything. I just wanted to run, run from this town, run from these people, run from the killer, run from the team, run from my past. I didn’t know where I was going, but I ran. I ran until it reached the graveyard on Flinton, there I slowed as I walked along the paths through the graves. It felt disrespectful to run here. Flinton was the road of my alma mater, the road of my grandparents place, and the road of Carson White’s parents house. As the rain picked up Aaron’s voice came from behind me, I didn’t jump. My subconscious must have known he was following me this whole time. “Lehighton, it’s pouring. Let’s go back.” “And what Aaron! Find absolutely nothing that will help us find Chrissy’s killer!” At Aaron’s face dropping when I turn around, it makes me aware of the fact that I was crying. How long have I been crying? “We will find the person who did it, Lehighton, I can promise you that. It’s a white male, between 25-35. He knows the area-” “Oh well that’s just great Aaron, f*ck it could be anyone here. It could be Mo Jo from down the block, it could f*cking be Carson White!” “Do you think Carson White could be a suspect in this case?” “I don’t f*cking know Aaron! I don’t want anything to do with this case anymore! The things that I’ve lost here, the people I knew, it seems like they got me surrounded for miles and miles and I don’t want that! I left here and promised to never come back.” I feel my knees smack into the blacktop below me and Aaron’s arms are around me the next second. “It’s ok, let’s get you back to the hotel.”

__

“It was personal-” “What was personal?” The whole team turns to Aaron as he arrives late to the station that morning, Lehighton still nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Lehighton?” “Lehighton is off the case, now, what was personal.” He kept it short as he sat down. “Chrissy’s killing. It was definitely the same unsub, based on the MO but something about this murder was personal.” Aaron had a hard look on his face, like he had something to say but didn’t know if or how to say it. “What Hotch?” “Lehighton said something today, something about Carson White possibly being our guy.” “Her ex? Does she have anything to back it up?” “Wait, Lehighton and Chrissy went to high school together right?” “Right.” “And this kill was personal. One of the other women killed had any personal connection to Lehighton, until we showed up and suddenly someone she had personal connection to got murdered.” “Ok guys stop it, we have nothing connecting Carson White to the murders-” “You guys think Carson killed her?” The team jumps as the voice of Lehighton comes from the doorway. “Do you think Carson killed them?” “It doesn’t matter what I think Derek, it’s what the evidence says. We have nothing connecting him to the crimes.” “We need to know more about him but we don’t have enough to get a warrant for his house- Lehighton do you have anything about him in your childhood bedroom.” I nod, arms crossed loosely around me, I felt so uncomfortable in that moment. “It’s the same as when we broke up, I never came home again after that.” “JJ, Rossi go back to Chrissy’s crime scene, see if we missed anything. The rest of us are going to Lehighton’s home, we’re gonna learn about Carson White.” “Wait Hotch-” The team stops mid standing, “It’s almost the time school gets out, I need to go get my sister. I don’t want her just walking into a house full of FBI agents.” Aaron nodded, “Morgan, go with her.”

__

Lila Castello, my 16 year old half sister. The only good tie I have left to my family. Lila was born when I was 13, our oldest sister Aurora was 17 and a senior in high school. Once Aurora was out of the house, everything changed. My mother checked out. Lila’s father, my mother’s boyfriend, was not paternal in the slightest. Growing up, it was always Lila and I against the world. When I left for college, I was freshly 18 and Lila was barely 5. I had promised myself when I got on my own two feet I would get Lila out, but things haven’t exactly gone as planned. Undergrad, followed directly by grad school, followed directly by moving from PA to VA for a position in the FBI, Lila just didn’t fit into any of it. She didn’t take it personally, I know she doesn’t and that’s one of the reasons I love her so much. She understands why I do what I do.

“No f*cking way!” The yell that bursts from Lila’s mouth when she spots me leaning against the SUV outside of the main doors of Acosta High is comical in itself, followed closely to how quickly she body slams me with a hug. Derek stood on the other side of the car, laughing, slowly making his way over to us as we rocked back and forth in each other's arms. “Happy to see me I guess.” “Are you kidding, you’re like a breath of fresh air in this sh*t town.” “I see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Morgan comments at Lila’s response to the town of Acosta. “Nope, the only difference is she gets the wonder gene of being a ginger.” Lila lightly pushes me at the comment and I can’t help but laugh. “Lila, this is SSe Derek Morgan, Morgan this is my little sister Lila.” “Do you guys have any leads on the Chrissy Langdon murder?” “Lila, be quiet, get in the car. I’ll explain.” Lila rolls her eyes, walking past us to get into the back seat of the SUV. Yes it was public knowledge that the FBI was here investigating but the last thing people need to know is that Lila is close to the investigation.

“So let me get this straight, the FBI is in our house, pulling apart your room because they think Carson may or may not be the killer?” Lila recaps, making sure she knows exactly what she’s about to walk into. “Basically, but you cannot and I mean it, cannot tell anyone what we are doing.” “Yes ma’am” she salutes from the back seat as we pull into the street parking of my childhood home. Derek could audibly hear a gasp when my eyes landed on the front door. “You okay Dawson?” “Yeah yeah, just go ahead without me. I’ll catch up.” Derek nods, removing himself from the car. Lila’s arms wrap around me from the back of the seat. “You got this.”

“Find any life changing information while we were gone?” It all looked so wrong, my current life, these agents, in my childhood bedroom. A life I left behind. If this would’ve happened as a teen, I would’ve screamed at the thought of people touching my personal belongings but it almost doesn’t feel real anymore. I’ve been so removed from that part of myself that it feels like a different person. “Besides from the fact that you were so incredibly close to being goth, not really no.” JJ joked, which was followed by me flipping her off jokingly. “Not as goth as Emily.” “Precisely why I said ‘so incredibly close’” “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to my sister Lila. Lila these are SSA Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid and our unit chief Aaron Hotchner.” Lila’s eyes land and stay on Spencer. “He’s cute.” The team laughs at her pointing Reid out as Reid blushes. “These pictures and such are giving some kind of indication of Carson but not much we can work with- What?” Aaron stops at my eyes growing wide when he sits himself on my bed. “Get off the bed.” “What?” “Get off the f*cking bed Aaron and stop looking at pictures of him! All of you stop it!” I don’t know what came over me that second Aaron touched the bed, but I suddenly wanted them all out of my house and out of my past life. I stormed from the room without another word, I couldn’t stand looking at it any longer. “She has a weird thing about that bed.” Lila tries to explain as she exits.

I can see Aaron’s shoes as he comes and leans on the table across from me as I lean on the kitchen counter. My head is in my hands as I try to calm myself from the blow up I just experienced. “I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me.” “It’s ok, your emotions are on high right now.” I shrug. “This probably isn’t fun for you either, looking through my past.” Aaron shook his head. “I know we have to but-” He pauses, wanting to choose his next words very carefully. “Sometime ago we made a deal-” “That we wouldn’t talk about our past unless the other openly wanted to talk to the other about it.” I finish his sentence and he smiles. That right there is what I miss. Aaron Hotchenr being a human. “Yeah, that.” “Trust me, I don’t like it that much either but if it helps… it’ll be worth it.” Lies. As Aaron goes to speak again, a sudden screaming from out the front door comes. Lila and a male voice, I recognize almost immediately. “No f*cking way.” I mumble angrily under my breath, taking off in the direction of Lila’s voice, Aaron following closely on my tail. “Come on Lila, I just need a little more. I promise I’ll pay you back. I have a job coming up and it’ll be a lot of money.” Just as I thought, Lila’s father, begging his 16 year old for money. Pathetic. “Dad, I can't. I have insurance coming out this week-” “Lila please!” His hand made contact with her arm as she turned away and I lost it. “George get the f*ck off my sister!” “Lehighton? What the f*ck are you doing back here?” “Doing my god damn job, now let go of your damn kid.” I snip, pulling Lila from his grasp and placing her behind me. “Just cause you moved away, don't think you’re any better than me.” “Ha don’t make me laugh.” “You’re a f*cking c*nt just like your mother!” Once again, I don’t know what comes over me at that moment, but I’m flying at him, only being caught by Aaron’s arms around me. “Lehighton, it’s not worth it!” “Dad please just take it and leave.” Lila yells, throwing money at him from her pockets. “Stay the f*ck away from my sister!” I yell as he hauls back into his pickup and drives off. Aaron held me back, whispering for me to calm down. Then I hear Lila crying, that calms me down real quick. “It’s ok, Lila. He’s just a deadbeat. You owe him nothing.” I try to hug her, but get forcefully pushed off in anger. “What the f*ck Lila?” “Don’t what the f*ck me? What the f*ck you! So he’s the reason?” Lila points to Aaron and all the color drains from me. “What?” “He’s the reason you were never ready for me to come to Virginia right? You were too busy f*cking around with your boss to have your little sister, right?” My jaw drops at her statement. “Lila, Aaron has nothing to do with that.” I whisper, not needing the other members to hear what Lila has found out in minutes of knowing Aaron. “Bullsh*t Lehighton! Is he the reason you left the FBI the first time? What, did you guys break up or something and you left? We were this close to getting me out and then you just up and left everything! Is he why?” “Lila, there is so much you don’t know about me leaving the FBI okay? But you cannot blame Aaron for any of it.” “Can you guys please just get out? Mom is going to be home soon. You two don’t need to see anything from each other.”

__

Sometimes, when memories of teendom and Carson come back, I wish I could get knocked in the head so hard I remember nothing. Nothing seems better than those memories sometimes. “Aaron?” I’m surprised when I open the hotel room door to find him standing there. “I-I wanted to check in and see how you’re holding up. I know things got a little heated today.” “Did Garcia find anything on Carson?” His face dropped at the mention of him. Towards the end of the day they found something that might link Carson to the murders. I don’t know what, I don’t want to know. But he didn’t come here to talk about Carson or the case, he came to talk about everything else. “Can I come in?” Without a word, I moved aside and let him into the hotel room, dangerous territory really. “Besides the fact that he’s done nothing besides have some minor marijuana charges, nothing.” “Do you think he might actually be a suspect?” “Honestly Lehighton, I don’t know.” A sign leaves my lungs at his confession of the unknown “Are you okay?” “I’m fine, Aaron.” “I just, I wanted to see if you needed to talk to someone.” I roll my eyes, shaking my head. “Trust me, I don’t. If I start talking, I’ll start crying and I’ve done too much of that since being here.” “There’s no shame in that, With everything that has happened in the past-” There it was, the before. Before I left the team, everything that Aaron and I have been through… the real reason he came to this hotel room. “Aaron, it’s been over a year now, that’s all behind me.” Lies. He looked a little distraught at that moment. Aaron reached out grabbing both my hands in one of his. “You’re not okay, last time you tried to pretend you were ok you ended up leaving.” I shyly slip my hands out of his. “And I’d do it all over again.” I unexpectedly grit my teeth at him, the burst of aggression scaring us both. I take a breath before continuing. “Damn it Lehighton, talk to me like a normal person for one minute!” “I can’t just do that Aaron! You’re not a normal person! You’re my ex and my boss and someone who I have too much history with to just act like we’re fine!” Tears begin to form in my eyes. “We can’t even begin to act normal if you don’t want to talk about it, Lehighton!” “Fine-” I throw my hands out to the side dramatically. “Let’s talk about it Aaron. We had a relationship and I left with no explanation because I felt like I didn’t need to give you one!” Aaron signs at me. “I told you when you left there was no explanation needed, there was nothing to forgive-” “Yes there was Aaron! I killed something for both of us! I can’t just let that go like it’s not my fault!” “It wasn’t Lehighton, neither of us could’ve known.” Tears fell from his eyes and it only made me feel worse. My tears began running as well. Aaron reached out, cupping my face and wiping my tears away. I fell into his hand, missing his touch. “Believe it or not, I wished you the best when you left the BAU, even though it was the hardest thing I ever had to do… and when you came back to help on that case, I’ll admit, I was jealous. Jealous that you were happy, you were happy without me. You walked back into that room with the biggest smile on your face, and I missed you so much. You seemed so much happier than when I moved you out of your apartment that I couldn’t help but feel like an asshole for feeling like that cause you were miserable when you left.” I scoff at him, tears running down my face as I back away from his hand. “Aaron, I was anything but happy… not to be overly dramatic but those first 24 hours without you and Jack felt like I couldn’t breathe properly.”

__

“Lehighton, your mom is on line one, warning she’s pissed.” The mayor popped his head into the room as we were sitting around the table getting ready for another day of work, today I chose to join. “What the hell?” I ask myself as I click the accept button on the phone, letting the speaker phone stay on. “Lehighton Dawson! Just because you’re home doesn’t mean you can just let Lila skip school!” Everyone looks at each other confused as Lila was nowhere near me since the blow up at the house. “Whoa whoa, slow down. Lila isn’t with me. I haven’t seen her since yesterday.” “Well then explain to me why I just got a call from the school saying she never showed up today.” The air, all of it, was suddenly knocked out of my lungs. “Maybe she just skipped, she’s probably still upset about the fight.” JJ quickly jumps in, trying to calm both me and my mother’s nerves/ “No, no, Lila would never. She has perfect attendance.” My mother speaks in a panic from the other end of the call, I nod agreeing with her. “She’s right. Lila isn’t like that. Something is wrong.” With that comment, Emily is already out of the room making calls, labeling Lila as a missing person. “Oh my god, Lila’s missing, with a killer on the loose. Oh my god, Lila!” “Mom, mom, calm down, we’ll find her! You have the best team looking for her.” “Dawson!” The mayor bursts back into the room. “There is someone on line 2, they say they want to talk to you.” “Mom, I gotta go.” Without another word, I hang up and quickly switch to line 2 without waiting for a go from the team. “This is SSA Leighton Dawson.” “Lehighton, it’s so good to hear your voice again. After seeing you the other day. I knew I needed to see you again.” Once again the air from the lungs is stolen as the voice of Carson White sounds throughout the room. It doesn’t take more than a second for the team to understand the situation. “Carson, where is my sister?” “Don’t worry, she’s safe. I promise.” “Lehighton!” From the background I can slightly hear her voice. “Carson I swear if you hurt her I will make your life living hell!” Just saying his name hurt my chest. “Lehighton, why would I do that? You love your sister, I could never hurt her.” “Just like you didn’t hurt Chrissy Langdon?” Carson chuckles at her name. “You wished her dead, Lehighton, I was just granting your wish. You hated her, she made you miserable, I was just helping.” Aaron can see the goosebumps rise on my arms and he motions for me to not speak, but I don’t listen. “That was in high school Carson! I haven’t thought about her in years.” “Well, now you’ll never have to worry about her ever again.” “Carson. Where is my sister?” “She’s here, with me, at the old train tracks in the back car. You can come get her if you want.” “What’s the catch?” “Nothing, just the pleasure of your company.” “You must be crazy if you think I’m coming into that train car alone.” He laughs again. “I’m not crazy and I want to meet your team, I want you to bring Aaron Hotchner., tonight at sundown. Don’t be late.” Before being able to speak again the line goes dead, and I scream my lungs out.

–

“I’ll go in first, we'll get Lila and get out as soon as possible.” Aaron explains the plan once again as I sit in the passenger seat beside him on the way to the train tracks. Spencer and Emily in the back. “Understood.” “Reid, station at the back door in case we need back up.” “We won’t.” I say matter-a-factly. “Reid, back door.” “Got it.” ‘We won’t! Carson isn’t getting out that easy. He’s going to rot in jail, understand?” Aaron stays silent, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him.

“Carson, drop the gun.” The sight before me was terrifying, my hand was shaking, my eyes were watery. Lila was kneeling with her hands tied behind her back as Carson stood, his arm wrapped around her neck in a light choke hold. A gun, in his opposite hand against her head. Only now do I understand at least a little bit of the guilt Aaron feels towards his ex-wife. “Lehighton, nice to see you again.” “Shut up and drop the gun.” “And if I don’t?” “You get shot.” Aaron announces unwaverly. “I’m here now, let her go.” I drop my gun down to the floor, showing no threat to him. “No!” He suddenly shouts, making Lila jump in his hold. “She doesn’t deserve to live! You love her, you should love me!” Carson suddenly raised his gun in my direction, being faced with death. Not the first time on the job. At the motion Aaron moves to block me, completely hiding my body from Carson’s view. Dumbass. “Don’t block her from me! I know too much! She loves me, not you! I’ll shoot you!” Carson was unraveling and finally processed Aaron in his presence. The threat seemingly over makes his confession of knowing, as I stop in front of Aaron, although if he really wanted to shoot Aaron, my body wasn’t going to stop him.

I could only imagine the confusion that was covering the team’s faces, minus Rossi’s. I am almost 100% sure that Aaron had confided in him about our relationship. They’re hearing everything through the wire I was currently wearing. “Think about what you’re saying very very carefully, please.” I beg at this point. “What you know is just going to hurt her. You don’t want to do that, do you?” Aaron suddenly speaks again, trying everything to get him to stop talking. “You hurt her the second you got her pregnant.”

The bomb was dropped.

“Lehighton, what do you see in him! He’s old enough to be your father and he’s your boss! What the hell is wrong with you? When did you become such a slu*t!” Anger, anger filled me. Yes, I hated him before this moment, however the feeling I felt in that moment didn’t hit me until now. “Go f*ck yourself Carson!” Redness rose in Carson’s face as the gun was once again raised, to point at Aaron. That's when from the corner of my eye I spotted him… Spencer at the back door of the train car, rushing forward, gun pointed at Carson. I process what’s happening, “No!” I rush forward as the sound of a gun goes off, I drop to the floor, just as I reach Lila, wrapping my arms around her before black takes over my vision.

I open my eyes to a black sky full of shining stars. For a moment, I think it’s heaven or some kind of afterlife, but then I see the red and blue lights flashing and the sounds of people talking and sirens. I quickly notice myself on a gurney, an air mask around my face. I sit up, slipping the mask off and suddenly an EMT is at my side. “You need to keep that on-” “Where’s Lila?” “She;s okay, she was taken to the hospital just as a precaution.” I nod, pulling my knees to my chest, and I feel the familiar feeling of a panic attack begin to set in as the events of the night replay in my head. I stand as I continue to hyperventilate. Looking around, stumbling aimlessly through the crowd of police and EMTs my eyes land on my team. Derek is the first one to notice me, he breaks the conversation with Aaron to turn his attention to me. None of them have ever seen me like this, see me break. The thought of that is oddly enough what’s causing the majority of my panic. I seemingly lose track of time as in the next second I’m clinging to Aaron, breaking down in his arms. It’s unclear how long I was there before opening my eyes and spotting the EMT’s wheeling something out on a gurney… a black body bag. Lile and the rest of my team is accounted for, it could only be him. I don’t know what comes over me as a scream bursts from my throat, I try to run towards the EMTs only being stopped by Aaron’s arms around my waist pulling and keeping me back. Collapsing onto the ground Aaron still holding on tight and not letting me go.

someone: how easy are you to persuade?

me; 3 people on tumblr told me to write a csi fanfiction after I posted about wanting to write it but knowing no one will read it. It’s now a draft I’m working on

CSI

oh the want to write a CSI fanfiction but also knowing it's such an old show i don't think people would read it, but also the idea i have is so similar to my aaron hotchner story but like, csi... I wanna write it so badly yall.

False Confidence| Peter Parker (prologue)

Prologue| you’re split and uneven, you’re hands to the sky

summary| who would've thought that the falling apart of the only family Rowan Stark has ever known would lead to her meeting a soulmate of sorts, peter parker

Rowan Stark portrayed by Emma Myers

He has 36 hours. 2,160 minutes to get away before the government starts searching for him. 129,000 seconds he only has to deal with the wrath of Ironman and the team he has created to take Captain America down. "Dad, stop! Think about this before you go and hurt him!" I followed him to his lab. He's just returned from who knows where and is currently on his way to pack to fly to Germany in order to stop his friend Steve... At least, I thought they were friends. I thought Steve and I were friends, however, that thought fizzled the second he left without a goodbye on my end.

Dad wasn't in the mood to deal with me at the moment. His team hadn't followed his orders and now the government is putting pressure on him to stop his old teammate. His patience was running out... It has been for a while now. He's been nothing but patient this past year, but I and Steve combine left it running thin. He knew I saw Steve as almost an uncle, a part of the family that I never really had outside of himself, Happy and Pepper... before Pepper left us both. "Rowan, stop it! I have to do this. It's either I go after him or the government does and I don't think you'd want that, cause I sure as hell don't." "If you get in his way he won't finish what he's trying to do and then the government will go after him, you're helping them!" "If he does this he'll be a public enemy! He already is!" I throw myself in front of him as we reach the lab door, I push myself against it, blocking him from entering. "Rowan Maria Stark! That's enough!" He finally snaps and at my reaction of flinching he sighs, taking a moment before speaking again.. Gathering his thoughts. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this. I'm trying to get our family back." Tears begin to brim at his wording... our family. He sighs again, placing his hands on my shoulders as he moves me from the doorway of the lab. "I'm coming with you!" I follow him inside and he snaps his head towards me. "No, no you're not." I bet he was remembering the battle of Sokovia, the battle that caused all of this. And I bet he's remembering the absolute living hell we've lived through during the aftermath. "You're both wrong, you know?" I change the subject, because I'm not fighting over going to Germany. I am going, but he needs to know I am not with him nor against him. "You both make good points, but no one will ever win if you battle each other." He shook his head, looking down. Not wanting to see the all too familiar sight of his daughter crying. "I've tried to reason, but he betrayed us the second he signed." "Maybe he's so stubborn because Bucky isn't the man you're looking for!" "Get ready... we have a trip to Germany to take care of."

_

Something was coming and it wasn't going to be pretty. Steve stood alone, but I knew he wasn't that stupid. He was waiting. Dad spoke and Steve kept looking at me, not him. He looked betrayed, I was standing in front of him and not beside him. But I couldn't stand beside him... for mupltity reasons. Standing besides him meant betraying my father... the only blood family I've ever had and standing beside him also meant being on the same team as a man who I could never forgive for as long as I kept breathing. "Okay, I've run out of patience." Dad rolled his eyes bringing his hands up to his mouth. "Underoos!" He called and out of nowhere behind Steve, a person came flying over all of our heads shooting webs, stealing Cap's shelf and tying his hands together in the process. It landed upon a structure behind us. I recognized the thing almost immediately. Spiderman. A new superhero from Queens. More specifically, a friendly neighborhood superhero from Queens. Only now, he's wearing a real suit, a suite that I notice right away. A suite I helped make. "Nice job, kid." Dad congratulated him almost coldly and for the first time, I heard his voice. "Thanks, well, I could've stuck the landing a little better, it's just a new suit. Well, it's nothing Mr. Stark it's perfect, thank you." He rambled, from his voice I could tell he was a teenager. "We really don't have to start a conversation." He spoke to him and glanced at me. He could see the anger in my face. He secretly had me help make a suite for a new hero that would fight against Steve. Low blow father, real low blow. "This is what the suit was for?" I yell pointing towards the little bugboy that sat behind us. "Cap... Captain big fan." It was like I didn't even yell, he was so starstruck with Steve. "Later kid." Offense washed over my face as he turned back to Steve... he called me kid just as he did with Spiderman. How dare he. "You've kept busy." When Steve spoke he was calm and that pissed dad off even farther. "And you've been a complete idiot! Dragging in Clint and recusing Wanda!" I flinch, nailing digging into my palms at the mention of his name. "I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart-" He looked over at me, fists clenched, staring down at my shoes in an attempt to hold it together in front of everyone including King T'Challa and the random bug-teen from Queens. "You did that when you signed." Steve replied just as dad had earlier. "All right, I'm done!" Dad has snapped once again, no more playing nice. "You're gonna burn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us now because it's us or a squad of JSOC guys with no compunction about being impolite." He wasn't asking anymore, he was demanding. Steve stopped, thinking. "Come on." I heard dad whisper. "Please Steve." I mumble to myself. Suddenly I felt the air change... the fight was about to begin. My eyes snap to the north runaway and almost as if I suddenly possessed Spiderman's senses, I knew the Quinjets were in there and Steve was about to make a run for it. "Steve, no!" I screamed but it was too late. An arrow came flying through the air and cut the webs from Steve's hands. Suddenly Spiderman flew off the structure and another man in a metal suit was suddenly standing next to Cap with his shield. "Barnes is mine!" I hear T'Challa yell. T'Challa wants Bucky dead, I can't let that happen, not to Steve. I bolted in the direction T'Challa was running in. "Mr. Stark, what do I do?" His voice ran through the earpiece father gave me before arriving at the airport. "What we discussed, keep your distance and web them up." Dad spoke in a rush. "Rowan, get out of here now!" I wasn't listening though. "Spiderboy, don't listen to him. They'll kill you just get away." His and Dad's voice came blasting into my ear but I couldn't hear them, I chose not to.

Cap threw his shield hitting T'Challa in the back, who then fell and rolled back to his feet... only to be thrown again by Captain one more time. "Move captain, I won't ask a second time." Steve was about to strike again. T'Challa jumped about to kick Steve but he didn't get the chance because a fireball, which I created with my own two hands, threw Steve off his feet and let T'Challa land on his feet. I came from the darkness and he looked at me. "Go, Rogers is mine." It's a blank statement, but it's all it takes for T'challa to stand and run off towards his target. I look over, and Steve is jumping back to his feet. It was him vs I. "What do you think you're doing?" He threw his shield at me, but I teleported behind him before it could hit. I jumped on his back, pinning him to the ground after wrestling him. "I'm being the bigger person between a 100-year-old man and my own father!" I hear glass break and I look up to the terminal and Spiderman is crawling inside to face off against Barnes and Sam... this can't end well.

I abandon Steve as I teleport inside, pressing my back against a pole until Spiderman comes flying by along with Falcon. I run and throw fire, meaning to burn the web connecting him to Sam but I miss and hit the boy's hand instead. He yells out in pain, falling onto the floor. I gasp, running over, kneeling by his side. I look up and see Sam standing beside a glass railing, he is chuckling as Bucky joins his side. "Thanks, Stark." I give both of them a stare of death before they go flying backwards both crashing through the railing landing on the floor below us. "What the hell was that for?!" Spiderman finally spoke, his voice high pitched because of the pain. "Sorry I was trying to keep you from getting killed!" I looked down at his hand, the suit was scorched. "Note to self, make the next one fireproof."

At that moment Peter was in so much pain due to the fire that she threw at him, however he could only think one thing. Rowan Stark was the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. She had long dark brown hair, much like her father. It was so long that Peter didn't know if she ever even cut it. The hair had strips of unnatural red running through it. Her eyes were one of the only things that set her apart from her father, as his eyes were brown and hers were blue with some hints of green. She looked as though she hadn't slept in days, little did he know that time frame was probably weeks. Finally he took notice of her arms, they looked as if she stuck her arms in ashes and only wiped some of it off, her arms were black in spots and he didn't think it was semi permanent.

"Listen to me, if you're going to be stupid and try to face off with Cap. Do one thing." He nods, snapping out of whatever state he was in. "Go for his legs." I state before teleporting back outside. "Over there!" I hear a voice and soon spot Cap and his ragtag team rushing in a single direction. The quinjet, and in the moment I teleport to his side and run with him. His arm slams in front of me as a laser bursts in front of us, creating a line... Vision and in seconds Dad and his team were standing opposite of us... I was against him at this moment. I steady my feet again as Steve's arm stopped me from getting blasted. I look to my side, at Steve and he's looking at me. He feels forgien, not like the man that was practically an uncle these past few years. I hold onto him tightly, as I feel him and the memory of who he was slip away. "I'm here with you." I hear him say and for a second, I think I'm going to fight with him, then I look to my other side. Standing in all black was him. Clint Barton. Hawkeye. The reason he was dead. The reason I have no one. The reason I am who I am today and not in a goodway. "Steve, I can't." Tears come again as I nearly buckle under the wait of grief, but Steve is there to hold me, like he always is. "Y/N-" I shake my head as he tries to reason. "I can't be on the same side as him, I can't." I drop to my knees, I choose this move as I press my forehead into the ground below me. I'm out of this fight. "Leave her." I hear dad's voice and I am suddenly left out. "What do we do now?" I hear someone say. "We fight." And my fists clench once more, hands heating up as I feel Steve's team run pass me, and I let them.

"Hey- ouch- Hey!" I don't know how much time has passed or how long I've been kneeling on the ground, however for the first time in that long time I hear something. A voice. Spider Man's voice. I finally come up and spot him across the airport, on the ground, unmasked. No one else is to be seen as I look around. "Hey! Come here!" Without a second thought I stand and move towards him, joining him on the ground. "Mr. Stark told me to wait here, I figured I'd have some company." I just nod, not having the energy to ask or hear where my father and the others were. "I'm Peter, by the way, Peter Parker." "Rowan, Rowan Stark." I flinch at the feeling of his suited hand grabbing my burned one. "It's all going to be okay."

pls do a part two of ur finnick story!

part 2

they weren’t the first part 2| finnick odair

part 2 of they weren’t the first

summary| finnick lost you in the 65th hunger games, but district 13 is full of many surprises

warnings| angst (ig), mentions of past hunger games, mentions of death, no smut but there is a makeup session, talks of Finnick’s past

A/N| glad yall liked the first one cause this was so much fun to write

__

you don’t know how you get here really. one moment a prisoner of the capital, the next a new member of secret district 13. you don’t really remember how you escaped, you don’t know how you ended up at district 13.

lately it’s been chaos. the bombing of district 12, the influx of survivors, the quarter quell, having to see Finnick’s face after all these years, for the first time in years.

you wonder if Finnick ever thinks about you, about your games, about if you’re still live. did he feel you move before the peacekeepers dragged you both away from one another? because you remembered him, you’ll always remember him. he saved your life in your games, and you’ll never be able to repay him for it.

as the quell dragged on, you couldn’t watch. you couldn’t watch cause at any moment your mentor Beetee could be killed, Finnick could be killed. you’d rather live in blissful ignorance for at least a little longer.

it was hot in that basem*nt that day, you’re gray jumpsuit was half unbuttoned, tied around your waist, your top being able to breathe better through your undershirt. you’re hair, pulled back uptop of your head to keep the frizz out of your face. the last time you’re hair was this long it had been cut by finnick to keep you from overheating in the arena after your hair tie broke... you haven’t cut it since then.

you were working on some weapon suspended in the air rewiring part of it. once from district 3, always a smarty.. at least that’s what Coin thinks. Beetee would be proud, you think. When you refused to train during your games, Beetee taught you most thinks he knew because it made you happy. That’s all Beetee wanted to do before sending you into that arena, make you happy.

It feels like a lifetime ago, being reaped, being thrown into that arena knowing you weren’t going to make it out, meeting finnick, being captured by the capital, escaping, being rescued by district 13. you don’t remember the majority of it all you remember is finnick, finnick, finnick.

some all you dramatic. it was 10 years ago now, but while everything else feel like a lifetime ago, finnick feels like just yesterday. you’ll never forgot that moment you realized he wasn’t going to kill you when he caught you in that net. you were only 13, never even thought about the idea of love but something about looking at finnick made you fall. Never did you see someone and think of them as attractive, everyone to you was just another passing face, but not finnick. finnick, still to this day, was the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. you understand why he was a capital favorite, he was sweet and put everyone he loved before himself... that’s why you jumped like you did. you knew finnick wouldn’t kill you and you weren’t going to kill him. jumping was your only option, and hey, you guess it worked out because you’re still here, at least you think finnick would like that.

“Y/N!” The voice of Boggs startles you, if it wasn’t for the cord holding you up you would’ve fallen.“Apologizes Y/N!” Gale chuckles as he apologizes besides Boggs for them scaring you. You couldn’t put your finger on it but Gale irked you, perhaps it was because he left so many behind in district 12 to die. you think you have a problem with all men near your age, because no one will live up to finnick. finnick would’ve picked up and carried as many children as he could if they didn’t automatically follow him, Gale didn’t.

“What do you want? I’m busy here!” You call down, returning your gaze to your work, keeping your ears open to listen to whatever Boggs and Gale have to say... well mainly Boggs.“Come down Y/N, this is important.” You look down at Boggs again and the look on his face makes your heart drop. Finnick. you motion for the people on the ground to lower you, shaking you’re barely able to undo your harness.

“Well speak!” You snap at the pair as you stand in front of them, neither say a word.“Katniss broke the arena.”“What?”“Katniss broke the arena, we sent in a recuse party, they just arrived, they’re in the hospital wing.” run. your brain says but you’re feet won’t move. If you run, and he’s not there, you don’t know what you’ll do.“Who- who did you recuse?” Gale and Boggs look at each other, and your heart sinks even more.“Katniss and Beetee but they’re unconscious.” you gasp at Beetee’s name.“and-” you snap your head to Gale as he begins to speak again, but Boggs elbows him.“and who? Boggs?!”“Finnick is conscious but he doesn’t know-” Without another word your feet finally listen to your brain. and you run.

“Finnick! Finnick!”“Y/N!” In the distance your name is called and the wind is knocked out of your body at his voice. he’s alive. he’s here.“Finnick!” you scream louder, booking it in the direction of his voice. as his calls get louder, you’re feet pick up speed until you freeze in place, almost falling over yourself and the momentum. Finnick Odair in the flesh. you both looked like idiots, just standing in the hallway of the hospital wing. Finnick slid out of a room, Haymitch quick behind him, but at the sight of you he retreated back into the room.

it felt like you were 13 all over again, seeing finnick for the first time. he was taller, more broad, more built.. obviously he’s a 24 year old man and not a 14 year old boy anymore. however, his blue eyes and blonde hair is exactly the same as when you were just kids trying to keep each other alive... or him keep you alive more specifically, finnick never needed your help.

“you’re alive!” you don’t know when you collided or who made the first move but you were wrapped in finnick’s arms. it felt strange, someone hugging you. after finnick, you never let other people touch you, let alone hug you.“you’re safe?” you were both frantic. pulling back, looking at each other, grabbing each others faces and bodies just making sure you weren’t going crazy. he was here.“I’m safe? you’re safe.” finnick hands couldn’t stop moving around your face and hair, he couldn’t actually believe it was you. you were here. alive. you looked so much different, but the same.

your lips collided before you could even process him moving closer to you. last time his lips were on your he was bringing you back to life, you guess you could say the same for this time. finnick was bringing you back to life. a fire lit in you the moment his lips touched yours. the thought of it being your first kiss didn’t even run through your head until he pulled back, both of you smiling like idiots.

“I guess I always knew you were going to be my first kiss.” you joke, tears of joy running down your face as you cling to him. Finnick laughs at you, his head falling into your hair, kissing your head. Tears falling from his eyes making your hair wet. He pulled back once again, cupping your face, pushing pieces of your hair back behind your ears.“I can’t remember the last time I saw your hair long.” you laugh at the ridiously statement.“you’re here.” you breath pulling him back into the tightest hug. He hugged back, lifting you slightly off the ground before returning you.“and I’m not going anywhere ever again.”

___

“How is this even possible?” Finnick still spoke in disbelief as you laid between his legs in bed that night. his arms wrapped tightly around you, your hands tangled in your lap, finnick playing with your fingers. his chin rested on your shoulder, you never wanted to leave his position.

“I don’t know, I honestly don’t remember.” you laugh at yourself, truly you have no idea how you got from point a to point b to point c. at your response, finnick turns you over to sit in his lap, face to face.

“What happened Y/N.” finnick’s serenity startled you, and the tears forming in your eyes startled finnick.“I can’t remember.” he wiped the tears the fell into your cheeks, and you turn away quickly wiping them.“I remember hitting the water, and I remember being somewhat conscious when they got us from the arena. I remember this like- this white room and then boom. nothing.”

“I’m glad you don’t remember anything.”“What?”“The capital is worse then if hell was on earth, trust me I know. I wouldn’t want you to remember anything that did to you or told you.”“What do you mean, you know?” Finnick’s eyes fall, he shouldn’t have said that.“Finnick? Finnick!” finally he looks up at you again, he looked broken and that broke you a little on the inside.“what did they do to you?”“Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.” Finnick deterred the conversation and you let him. He didn’t want to talk about it and part of you didn’t want to hear it. as you nod, pieces of your hair falls from your ponytail and onto your neck. you hated the feeling, you always have. before he could process it, you were up, across the room to your desk grabbing scissors.“cut my hair off.”“What?”“cut my hair off finnick. I never cut my hair since you did it in the arena, that was the last time I was with you. this-” you grabbed your hair,“isn’t me. so please, cut it off.”

__

“I always thought you looked better with short hair Y/N.” you chuckle besides table where Beetee was. ever since he has woken up you and therefore finnick has been by his side. Beetee was the first and only father figure you’ve ever had, working besides him on new technology in district 13 was a full circle moment.“Thank you Beetee.”“I call it the Haymitch look.” Finnick and Beetee laughed as you threw a piece of food across the table at finnick.

within the next second the sounds of their laughter was quickly covered by the sirens of an air raid. the noise send you into fight or flight mode and you black out of reality.“Y/N! Y/N!” you black back in to Finnick frantically shaking you, and Beetee nowhere in sight.“you’re okay, we have to go!” he grabs your hand and start running to the shelter as you make it through the door, finnick walks behind you, hands covering your ears.

tucked up against finnick, you jump every time a bomb hits. finnick lays behind you, hands still cupped over your ears as some sort of protection from the noise. boom.“7″ boom.“8″ boom.“9″ as the bombs exploded, you counted. you didn’t realise you were safe, in your mind, you were back in the arena. 9 people dead, 10 people dead, you might be next. finnick caught on quickly to this as you shook more and more with each passing number. you open your eyes once and look to the ceiling, trying to bring yourself back down only to see cracks in the ceiling, quickly with a yelp you flip over, burying yourself in finnick’s chest.

“you’re okay Y/N, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” he whispered into your hair, arms wrapped as tightly as possible around you.“I’ve drown in water before I don’t wanna be buried in cement next.”

__

you were the love of Finnick’s life, he’s done this so many time before, so why can suddenly not stomach that fact that’s he’s doing it.

“finnick.” your voice and hand pulling him closer by his belt loops pulls him back to reality. somehow a kiss turned into this, you below him in nothing but your his shirt and underwear and him with no shirt on.“mmh?” is all he replied, leaning down to kiss you again, but you turn away from him. he looks at you in confusion.“what’s going on inside your head finnick.” has he really been so far in his head he hasn’t noticed?“nothing, I’m okay I promise.” he kissed you again, this time lowering his hips to meet yours and you let a moan leave your lips, to your surprise. finnick knows you’ve ever done this, hell you never kissed someone until he came along.“finnick.” you voice again makes him pull back, you look nervous.“I’ve never done this before.” finnick chuckles lightly,“I know, it’s okay.”“Have you?”“with no one important.” you at up at his confession, pulling your knees to your chest.“what do you mean?” finnick sighed to himself, he had to tell you at some point.“come here.” he reached out, allowing you to climb into his lap, face to face.“after our games, Snow wanted to keep me in the capital. the people wanted me to themselves, so when I was 16 Snow started selling me to people in the capital for short periods of time. he said if I didn’t he would kill my family, and probably you.” without a word, you wrap your arms around him, hugging him.“Thank you for trusting me Finn, I love you.” at your words he relaxes into the hug, burying his face in your neck.

“I love you so much Y/N, marry me.”

___

5 years later

“Y/N are you okay?” finnick’s voice pulls to back to reality, just like it always does. you turn to see him coming to join you on the balcony of your shared house. it was summer and the other victors and friends were all in district 3 for a summer get together, a yearly thing. every year a new person hosts in a new district and this year it was your and finnick’s turn.

5 years ago, after the death of Coin and President Snow, we were free to live for the first time in our lives. everyone returned to their home districts to help rebuilt it from the ground up, after finnick had district 4 in order he moved to 3 to be with you.

your first child, a son, was born shortly after the war ended. not ideal, but it helped ground you both back into a reality without the games. his name, finnick jr, could not be more wrong as he looked identical to you and not finnick. ironically, 2 years later when your twins were born and named joule and techen, district 3 inspired names, she looked exactly like finnick and techen was the perfect little mix. crazy how the world works.

“Yeah, I just needed a minute.” you turn back to the view of the city, looking down into your backyard you spot Peeta running around with Finn, Joule, Techen and his and Katniss’s two kids, Ember and Mason. they were catching fireflies. you envied your kids, they got the childhood you and finnick never had.

“It’s hard to believe it’s almost been 5 years.” finnick spoke, placing his hands on either side of you on the railing, caging you in.“5 years since we escape hell.”“We did it together, and look, we bought those beautiful kids into a better world.”

“I love you Finnick Odair.”“I love you too, Y/N Odair.”

they weren’t the first| finnick odair

anyone else random get thrown onto hunger games tik tok?

summary| after the jabberjays it’s revealed that peeta and katniss weren’t the first pair to make it out of an arena alivepart 2

“whose y/n?”

Johanna couldn’t help but chuckle at Katniss’s question. When the jabberjays attacked Katniss ran after what she thought was Prim, meanwhile Finnick ran after an unknown voice that he called Y/N.

Everyone's attention gets turned to Johanna in that moment, as she stared out at Finnick sat in the sand where the waves reached him. Beetee looked at her as if he already knew the story of the mysterious Y/N, while Katniss and Peeta sat waiting to be told the lore.

“She was the female tribute in the 65th hunger games.” “Finnick tried protecting her in the games, she was only 13 at the time.” Beetee continued to clarify once Johanna stopped talking. Katniss and Peeta looks at each other in confusion. “You didn’t think you two were the first did you?” Johanna’s question confused the pair even more.

“Both Finnick and Y/N survived? I feel like we’d know of her then.” Peeta questioned. “No no Peeta, she means the first to fall in love in the games.” Katniss gasped, sudden sadness washed over her. Finnick didn’t deserve to lose someone he loved. At the silence that took hold, Beetee spoke up feeling the need to explain Y/N to the unknowing.

“I was Y/N mentor, as I said she was only 13 when she was reaped... the youngest in the arena. She didn’t have any hopes of winning those games, but she wasn’t going to give up easily. She ran and hid for the beginning of the games, in a tree much like you Katniss. Finnick was killing tributes so fast I knew it was only a matter of time until he found her, but when he did he didn’t kill her-”

“How was I supposed to do that?”

Finnick’s voice startled everyone, looking up he stood and joined the group in retelling the story of Y/N.

“Y/N was too young, she had no chance of survival with the tributes that we had. She never trained, she knew the method of hiding she was going to use and she did it.”

“How- How did she die?” Peeta almost didn’t ask, but it was something he wanted to know, needed to know.

Finnick sighed, his head dropping at the memory of it, “Once she knew we were the only 2 left, she- she ran off and jumped off this-this waterfall, she couldn’t swim. She drowned. I tried to save her, but.”

Finnick stopped, he couldn’t bring himself to continue the story, “she made me promise her that when she had to die to make it painless but I couldn’t do it, she killed herself in one of the most painful ways.” “Drowning.”

“You went after her Finnick, you tried to save her.” Beetee tries to comfort the boy, but Johanna wasn’t having it, “And what Beetee, he revived her and then what? He’d just have to kill her anyways or kill himself. Who's to say she wouldn’t have killed him?-”

“Y/N wouldn’t have kill me, Johanna you know that!” Finnick snapped before retreating into himself. “I could’ve sworn- I felt her move.” He started as if he was questioning his memory but the sentence ended as a certain statement. They all looked at each other with sadness in their eyes. They and Finnick all know that if he was right, and Y/N was alive when they were taken from the arena, she was long gone by now. The Capital wouldn’t let 2 victors leave the arena.

“I felt her move. When we got taken from the arena. She moved.”

shoot me| eggsy unwin

Authors Note| I haven’t actually seen the Kingsman movies in a hot minute so some details are gonna be off, but I imagine this taking place in the 2nd movie

_

summary| when you and eggsy get captured on a mission, he is told to shoot you.

It’s moment such as this when the rule against Kingman agent dating makes sense. Especially if both parties in the relationship are agents. It made it too easy to target agents, especially since it was an old trainee leading to your downfall.

Charlie Hesketh. Once a possible Kingsman agent, back when Eggsy was in the running that is, now an enemy who has captured the both of you on Poppy’s island.

You and Eggsy, a forbidden romance really. You had already been a Kingsman agent for a few years when Eggsy came along. You weren’t exactly an active agent, more along the lines of what Merlin did, however since Eggsy joined you found yourself in the field a lot more often.

It was truly an unlikely romance. A true shock when it was revealed. Eggsy was co*cky, you were the opposite. Quiet, but you knew what you were capable of, he liked that about you.

Charlie had captured you and Eggsy and in a very roman way, he pitted the two of you against each other. Only one of you was getting out of this thing alive. He wanted you two to fight to the death. It was‘equal’ as he put it, giving each of you a gun with a single bullet. You were surrounded by many men with machine guns, you were trapped. Who ever lost would be shot by the winner, either way it was a lover killing their lover and Charlie loved it.

It was obvious who was going to win. Either of you would simply pull the trigger, which Charlie had made it clear that it had to be a killshot, you would have to physically battle. Eggsy was much stronger than you and you both knew that.

Eggsy had tried to lose, he even dropped his gun. He would rather himself die. However, you were smaller than him and could move yourself in a way that got Eggsy on top of you. Forcing your gun into his hand, barrel against your forehead.

Eggsy was crying, sobbing even. His vision was blurry as his hand shook holding the gun. You were also crying underneath him, holding the barrel of the gun so he couldn’t move it. He refused to put his finger on the trigger.

“Eggsy.” You whimper softly in some attempt to calm him down, but it only made him cry harder.

“Eggsy, it’s okay. It’s okay” He continued to sob above you, eyes closed, hating the sight of that damn gun against your head.

“Eggsy, shoot me. It’s okay. It’s part of the job.”

It’s part of the job. A statement that you both agreed on, no matter what, if it was part of the job... that came first, the job always came first. In that moment Eggsy couldn’t help but flinch at the statement, how could he be so stupid to promise that.

You removed your hand from the gun to place it on Eggsy’s face as your other hand was intertwined tightly with Eggsy’s

“I love you, now shoot me.”

Within seconds Eggsy was sat up with the gun against his own head, closing his eyes tightly.

“Eggsy, No!”

A gunshot rang out and you scream as Eggsy’s body came crashing down on top of you. You sob through a scream for a few seconds before hearing Harry’s voice along with gunshots. That’s when you heard the breathing and sobbing of Eggsy in your ear.

“Y/N, it’s okay. I’m okay. I love you.”

marry me| kim namjoon

summary| at the fear of namjoon’s enlistment you hastily pop the question (foreigner!reader)

“I think we should get married.”

Namjoon almost choked on his drink, that was not the response he was expecting when he asked you what was on your mind.

It didn’t take a mind reader to tell something heavy was weighing on your mind, and it only took Namjoon not even a glance in your direction to tell your brain was running on overdrive. Even in the dim lighting of the restaurant, Namjoon could see the distraught look on your face.

“Come again?”

He wanted to double check that he heard you correctly.

“I think we should get married.”

You stated again with a cold stare across the table. Fiddling with the napkin on the table in front of you.

“Why?” Namjoon automatically tries to take it back when he sees your face drop. He starts to panic.“That’s not what I meant, I mean, why right now?” You shrug your shoulders at him.

“Nevermind, forget I said anything.”“No, Y/N-”“Namjoon I said forget it!”

The car ride home was painfully silent. One thing Namjoon loved most about you was how naturally intelligent conversation flowed between you two, this seemed wrong. Namjoon had a pit in his stomach. You know that feeling when you know you’re whole life is about to change, yeah, it was that feeling. For possibly the first time in your relationship, he didn’t know what do say next. He practically made it sound like he didn’t want to marry you, which wasn’t true at all. Namjoon dreams of the day he gets down on one knee and asks you to be his wife. He wants you, and only you. He wants to marry you and announce it to the world. But why tonight? What was going on in that pretty little brain of yours that made you ask him to marry you tonight?

The driver barely had the car in park when you pushed the door open and practically flew into the lobby doors of the apartment where you and Namjoon live. If he had blinked he would’ve missed you entirely. By the time he’s made it up to the apartment, you were already in the kitchen. Your back was to Namjoon, as you leaning against the counter, taking off your heels and leaving them discarded on the floor.“Y/N, please talk to me. What is going on?”“Namjoon, drop it!” It looked ridiculous when Namjoon jumped back at the loud noise that was Y/N yelling. Namjoon was physically much stronger and he towered over you, but still, your loud booming voice made him jump. It was then when you finally faced him for the first time since the restaurant, only now did he notice the tears streaming down your face. Tinting your pale skin red. It was in this moment his heart completely dropped from his chest. He really messed up.

“Y/N, baby, you need to talk to me. Please.” You sobbed at his plead, you’ve lost it and now it’s affecting him. You look at him, everything is silent for a moment as you debate on how to word the million thoughts running through your head.“You’re leaving Namjoon.” And suddenly everything clicked in that moment. His military enlistment.

the dreaded 2 year required military service

It was a topic that weighed heavily on your mind since the moment you met Namjoon. It scared the living daylights out of you.

“You’re leaving and it scares the crap out of me.” Your reaction was scaring him. Seeing you break wasn’t a normal thing. You were always so strong and cold stone on the surface. You didn’t let people in easily. If this was making you break like it, then it was serious.“Y/N, I’m not leaving yet-”“But you will be, and now the whole world knows.” The trigger. The recent statement HYBE had made was the trigger to this break down. The statement made everything real.

This wasn’t the first break down you’ve had revolving the military enlistment. You’ve had multiple, but the first and only other time Namjoon has been witness to it had been when photo came out of Shinee’s Minho in the military. You remember seeing the photos of him in uniform with a gun and it sent you spiraling. That was going to be Namjoon at some point. What if a war broke out? What if Namjoon left and never came back? Back then, it was just a‘what if’ but now, it’s real. He’s enlisting and you can’t do anything.

Namjoon didn’t know what to do in that moment. He watched as you stood before him, crying and shaking with your arms wrapped around yourself as some sort of protection. Protection from the realities of the world around you. You couldn’t stand seeing Namjoon’s face breaking, you quickly turn your back to him, facing the white kitchen wall. “When I met you this damn enlistment was up in the air, no one knew if you guys were actually going to do it and now suddenly it feels like there was no other reality then you leaving.” The only noise in the room came from your breathing and Namjoon’s footsteps as he approached you from behind. His arms slid themselves around you waist, hugging you from behind. The second his arms had you, your legs seemingly stopped working as you collapsed. Namjoon held tighter, holding you against his chest, letting you cry as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Y/N, I love you so much.” This sentence shouldn’t have made you cry even harder than before but it did. You knew he loved you, and that made this pill even harder to swallow.“And I would never leave you, 2 years is nothing compared to what we’ve been through. Keeping this, us, private, is so much harder than this enlistment is going to be. I promise.” You shake your head at him, covering your face with your hands.“I’m so selfish.”“You’re not selfish, you’re scared.”“No Namjoon! I’m selfish-” You remove yourself from his grasp to face him again.“Here you are wanting to go and serve your country and I’m here trying to force you to marry me solely so you don’t have to. I’m horrible.”“I’m the selfish one Y/N, you’ve had to give up everything just to be with me.” The break in his voices takes the air out of your lungs. Both of your emotions are running high at this moment and you had the feeling that everything is about to come up right here right now.

“You left your friends and family behind, moved to a whole other country, learned a new language, gave up the chance of living a normal life, just to be with me. You deserve so much better.”“Kim Namjoon, don’t you dare go there.”“It’s true Y/N, you’ve done everything for me and the one thing you want I can’t give you, do you know how that makes me feel?”

Let’s take another shot at this.

“Then let’s get married. We can move to America and you can work on your solo project while BTS is on hiatus, we can live a somewhat normal life.”“I don’t want to marry you!” A pin drop could be heard in that moment. At the look on your face, Namjoon signs, moving to come close to you once again but you back up.“Don’t f*cking come near me.”“Y/N, listen to me-” Namjoon listens and stays put.“I want to marry you, okay? I want to marry you so badly, but I do not want this stupid enlistment to be the reason for it.” Stupid Enlistment.“Are you scared?” All this time, you were so concerned with yourself that you forgot to think about him... he was going into the military, he has to be terrified.“I’ve known about this since the second I knew what the military was, I’ve gotten over it.”

“Let’s make a deal-” Namjoon moves closer, he lifts you to be seated on top of the counter behind you. He leans on his hands on either side of you.“Until the second that I leave, we’re spending every second together. This time is for us only. And after enlistment then I will propose and we will get married and we can go live anywhere you want, please just put up with 2 more years of my sh*t.” You laugh at him.“That all sounds good but I really don’t want to live in America, that was a last ditch effort.” You joke and he laughs, in the moment, you remember why you uprooted your life in the first place. For him and his f*cking beautiful laugh.

about a girl| steve harrington (chapter 1)

chapter 1| happier

“Have you ever been in love.”

The question made Steve stop. As if his whole love life has flashed before his eyes in that single moment.

“Yep-” He sounded as though he was forced against his will.“Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year.” The imitation of a gun perfectly matches as Robin’s face turns to disgusts at the mention of Nancy’s name. Steve then chuckles stupidly to himself.

“Oh my god.” Robin groans.“She’s such a priss.” She comments in disbelief at his first love.

“Hm, turns out. Not really.” Steve added in a monotone, having no more feelings to defend Nancy but still feeling like he should make the comment.

Robin scoffs before questioning,“Are you still in love with Nancy?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Quinn. Robin thinks automatically. Anyone with eyeballs can see the love Steve feels for that girl. Hell, Robin thinks even the blind can feel the attraction they have towards each other.

Robin’s heart stops at Steve takes a moment to answer.

“I think it’s because I found someone who’s a little bit better for me- It’s crazy. Ever since Dustin’s got home, he’s been saying you know,‘you gotta find your Suzie, you gotta find your Suzie.’”

“Wait- who’s Suzie?”

“It’s some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I’m not 100% sure she’s even real- but that’s not, that not really the point. That doesn’t matter. The point is, this girl, you know, the one I like, it’s somebody that I didn’t even talk to in school.”

He’s crazy. Robin thinks as her heart drops. He’s on drugs, mistaking his love for Quinn for her. He had to be. Steve spoke to Quinn in school, hell, they were basically attached at the hip his senior year.

“And I don’t even know why.”

Steve continued and Robin’s heart sank even more if not for her friend who has also been in love with Steve since him and Nancy broke up, then for herself, he was never going to speak to her again after this. She was about to lose a friend.

“Maybe cause Tommy H would’ve made fun of me or I wouldn’t be prom king.. It’s stupid. I mean, Dustin’s right, it’s all just a bunch of bullsh*t anyways. Because, when I think about it, I should’ve been hanging out with this girl the whole time. First of all, she’s hilarious. She’s so funny. I feel like, this summer, I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. And she’s smart. Way smarter than me. You know, she can crack, like, top secret Russian codes and you know? She’s honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever even met before.”

Finally he stopped. Robin couldn’t be more thankful as she buried her head into her knees, she wanted to disappear.

“Robin?” Steve tapped on the stall that connected them.“Robin, did you just OD in there?”

With shaky breath, Robin responds,“No, I am still alive.” Another deep sigh makes Steve nervous and he slips under the stalls to join Robin’s in hers.

“This floor’s discussing.” Robin comments, trying to keep the tone from going south.

“Yeah, well, I already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt so.. what do you think?”

“About?”

“This girl.”

“She sounds awesome... and her name is Quinn.”

Steve’s face drops into confusion at the mention of his best friend and other coworkers name.

“I mean, yeah, Quinn is awesome, but that’s not who I’m talking about-”

“Yes she is, Steve. I think you’re on drugs and not thinking straight.”

“Really? Cause I think I’m thinking a lot more clearly than usual.”

“He’s not.” Robin’s serious tone makes Steve’s heart drop even farther then it already has.

“Listen, you don’t even know the girl, you think you do. And if you did know her, like really really know her, I don’t think he’d even want to be her friend.”

At Robin’s sudden frantic state Steve is quick to speak again.

“No, that’s not true, No way is that true-”

“Listen to me, Steve. It’s shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you, but not like Quinn does and I’m not like your other friends. Do you remember what I said about Click’s class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?”

With a nod,“Yeah.”

“It isn’t because I had a crush on you. It’s because she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”

“Mrs. Click?” Of course in a serious moment, Steve’s brain doesn’t work and makes Robin chuckle lightly at the boy.

“Tammy Thompson.” Robin’s soul left her body in that moment. It was out.“I wanted her to look at me. But, she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn’t understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And, and you didn’t even like her and I would go home and just scream into my pillow.”

“But Tammy Thompson’s a girl.”

“Steve.”

“Yeah?” With one final look, it finally clicked together in Steve’s head. Robin liked girls. Robin liked Tammy Thompson.

“Oh.”

“Oh.” Robin mocked him, thinking it was the last time she would ever get to ever again.“I see the way you look at her, you know. Quinn. Everyone can see you’re in love with her and she’s in love with you. It’s, like, been obvious since the end of senior year and even more since you both started working together.”

Steve’s jaw dropped in that moment, staring up at Robin as she rambled on and on scared of what Steve was going to say to her.

“Quinn’s in love with me?”

Robin scoffs lightly at him.“Are you kidding me? Yes.” Steve smiles softly to himself at the thought but quickly looked back up when he felt the eyes of Robin burning into his head. She was waiting for rejection that wasn’t coming.

“Steve, did you OD over there?”“No, I just, uh, just thinking... I mean, yeah. Tammy Thompson, you know, she’s cute and all, but I mean, she’s a total dud.”

“She is not.” Robin quickly defended in disbelief.“Yes, she is.” Steve quickly fought back,“She wants to be, like, a singer. She wants to move to, like, Nashville and sh*t.”“She has dreams!”“She can’t even hold a tune. She’s practically tone-deaf. Have you heard her?” Robin laughs, not believing the conversation she is currently having.“All the time!” Steve continues on to mock Tammy and her tone-deaf singing.“Shut up! She does not sound like that!”“She sounds exactly- That’s a great impersonation of her.”“No she does not, you sound like a muppet.”“She sounds like a muppet! She sounds like a muppet giving birth.” They both laugh and continue singing badly in the kermit voice until they both laugh again and fall into silence.

“You know,” Robin begins,“The whole thing about you laughing a lot this summer, it was because of Quinn... it’s because you’re helping her get herself back.” Steve’s confused look leads Robin on to continue.“I remember the girl Quinn was when she was a freshmen, quiet, sure, but she was weird as hell and funny, all this, this sh*t, as really f*cked her up. But you Harrington.. you are bringing her back.” Steve nodded to himself. That thought made him sad, she’s right, you haven’t been yourself until this summer at work. He didn’t realize how much he missed it, however, he didn’t have enough time to process it as Dustin and Erica burst through the bathroom door.“Okay, what the hell!”

tv| steve harrington ft. billy hargrove

I'll stay in the pool and drown so I don't have to watch you leavetv by billie eilish

(Rewritten)

Billy Hargrove. He was Hawkins' very own personal asshole. The mullet having, fast car driving, fight starting, beer drinking, abusive asshole. And yes, I will admit, he was all of those things, but he was also mine.

It was October 1984 when you first met Billy Hargrove, and it was the Summer of 1985 when you saw him die with your own two eyes after a summer of scooping ice cream and getting kidnapped by Russians alongside Robin Buckley, Erica Sinclair, Dustin Henderson and Steve Harrington.

No one will ever know him for his heroic last moments, or the handful of moments where his humanity showed that you’ve seen. Everyone will remember him as the asshole of Hawkins who drank and smoked a little too much and who probably almost ran you over with his car once or twice.

You had been dealing with a slight case of stress response syndrome when you met Billy. It was October 1984, a drunken Billy had stumbled and split a cup of beer on you at some Halloween party you had attended with your friend Nancy and your friend-threw-association Steve Harrington. He didn’t speak to you and instead stumbled away in another direction, as you approached the bathroom to clean yourself off, Steve stormed out of the door and right past you. “Steve!” You called after him, but he didn’t give you a second look, continuing to mumble under his breath as he rushes angrily out of the party. Looking in, you find Nancy also covered in alcohol mumbling something about how, ‘This is bullsh*t’, luckily you quickly found your oldest friend Jonathan Byers making his way through the party and put him in charge of getting Nancy home safe as you made your own way home.

Home didn’t exactly welcome you that night. As you approached your front door, the door itself wasn’t enough to hide the screaming and carrying on caused by your mother and older sister inside those 4 walls. With a sigh, you make your way around to the side of your house and take the all too familiar seat besides the small hopper window at the base of the house that shows into your sister’s basem*nt bedroom, once the yelling stops, that light will turn on showing she has retired to her room for the night, then and only then it will be bearable to walk back into that house.

Rusling from the street made you quickly sit up straight from your position slumped against your concrete wall, squinting, you notice it was the boy from the party, still drunk off his ass, stumbling towards you.

“Hey! Aren’t you the girl I drenched at the party?” He slurred his words slightly, pointing at you as he continued coming closer. “Yeah, thanks for that by the way.” You replied sarcastically looking up at him as he stopped once he reached you. He looked up to the house when another round of screaming began, he pointed, “You’re place?” You quickly put your hands up, “I take no responsibility for this sh*t hole.” “Yeah-” Billy began as he threw himself, a little roughly in your opinion, into a spot next to you on the ground. “This place is a sh*t hole.” He nodded, agreeing with you, as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes, putting one between his lips before leaning the box towards you. “Want one?” With a shrug you take one placing it between your own lips while he lights his before your own. You take a drag, one much longer than him before releasing the smoke with no effect on your lungs. Billy watches you before chuckling slowly and taking another hit of his own.

That was night that started everything, the conversation ended when your sister barged out of the house taking your car with her, leaving you without a ride to school the next morning, one comment and a night of sleep later left Billy Hargrove forcing Max out of the house early and into the backseat of his Camero to get to your house to pick you up before you could start walking.

One ride turned to two, your corduroy jacket turned into a leather one, and your reputation turned from Jonathan’s weird best friend to the girlfriend of the new asshole of Hawkins High and there was only really one person who despised it. Steve Harrington.

Some would say fighting a creature from another dimension forms a bond between people, and that would bo’d true for Steve Harrington and Y/N L/N. Before fighting and killing the demogorgon, Steve was nothing more than a boy your friend Nancy was seeing, and a boy who bullied your other friend since elementary. You dealt with him, however, he quickly became a shoulder to lean on after everything had happened. You couldn’t turn to Jonathan as he was dealing with watching after Will and Nancy, god bless her, was losing her mind at the discovery of another dimension which only left Steve to turn to when the thought of an evil returning crept into your mind. Which is why when the bomb dropped that was you dating his new rival Billy such a big deal to him and he couldn’t help but feel like your unlikely meeting was his fault.. If only he hadn’t stormed past you at the party, perhaps everything would be different.

His distan for Billy was the main reason he got you the job alongside him at Scoops Ahoy that summer. Billy's unhealthy attachment to you made it practically impossible for Steve to even speak to you anymore. Billy hated Steve, which was made clear when he beat the sh*t out of him at the Byers house when he found you and Max there with the two people he told you each to not hang out with. Steve had figured if you got a job with him, Billy had no choice but to let you two see each other, which worked, with a little bit of convincing on your part. Mostly by saying you’d be working mostly with Robin Buckley and not Steve.. Which of course was not true but how would he know, you both thought.

Your first day is when Steve realized he loved you for the first time. At this point in time Nancy had broken up with him for Jonathan and he was single and ready to mingle. When you walked into work for the first time in your sailor uniform, stripped away was the new Y/N that had emerged from your new relationship, and he saw the old Y/N again. The girl he should have been pinning after in the first place.

Steve always made it known how much he disliked your relationship with Billy and it was brought even farther to the forefront when you began your shifts at Scoops Ahoy. “I’m serious Y/N, I don’t understand what the hell you see in this guy.” He continued ranting, as you and Robin sat in the window sharing a cup of ice cream between the two of you. “If it’s the mullet, I can find you 10 other guys with the same haircut!” “Like yourself Harrington.” Robin was quick to cut in and with a death glare from Steve the conversation ended, with a final comment from you. “You only see the bad parts.” To which Robin would simply ask, “Are there any good parts?”

You were right there were good parts to Billy Hargrove, however, for every good part there were 10 bad parts. Such as the last night you spoke to the boy. It was a fight over something stupid you’re sure, but it ended in Billy throwing a beer bottle in your direction and you fighting back with the biggest jag of them all, “You’re just like your father,” The next time you saw him was the moment he was being murdered by a creature from the upside down in place of Eleven. You fainted into Steve’s arms, a moment you don’t remember, but he sure does. In that moment Steve promised himself he’d never leave you, no matter what.

Steve truly believed Billy never loved you, however on his deathbed, Billy could confidently say you were the only thing he loved in the stupid town of Hawkins.

That promise seems to be more important that he realized in the moment. Within the next few months, everything in your life began to shift. Joyce did the reasonable thing and moved her kids and Eleven out of Hawkins, taking your childhood best friend Jonathan away. Max fell into a depression, refusing to talk to anyone and pushed everything, including you, away. Max never agreed with you dating Billy, however, you became close and used this to help protect her from Billy. The boys went off to begin high school, seemingly forgetting everything that had happened at the damn mall. Nancy had gotten a full time job and Robin, not knowing how to deal with tragedy well, only spoke to you while hanging with Steve. The only thing that didn’t change was him. Steve.

He was there when your sleepless nights turned into weeks which turned into months and when that sleeplessness turned into you skipping school and lying in bed all day (which quickly turned into you dropping out of your junior year) and lead to your mother kicking you out of the house, tired of dealing with a catatonic child, Steve was there. With his parents out of town most of the time he figured what would it matter if you moved in.

You didn’t know about the promise and truly believed Billy was the thing that stabilized your life, with him gone, it was only a matter of time before Steve left too.

_

Times like these were the only times your body didn’t feel like there was ten thousand pounds weighing down upon you. Due to the buoyancy caused by the water, you’ve found yourself floating in the Harrington’s pool. Fully submerged underwater from the mouth down. The yellow crewneck you borrowed from Steve and a pair of navy sleep shorts are now darker than normal. The wet socks on your feet didn’t even bother you anymore, you were just thankful for the lightness your body finally felt.

Floating in the pool has become a daily thing for you now, ever since you discovered the pressure the water takes off your body, it’s the only thing you look forward to anymore. You remember the first time Steve found you in the pool.

“Y/N?” You slowly turned to face Steve as he stood on the side of the pool. He was dressed in his work uniform from the video store, just returned from work. He stood with his hands on his hips and eyebrow raised, confused but not surprised at the sight he’s seeing. “What are you doing?” “Floating.” You simply responded like it was the most simple answer in the world. Satisfied with your own response, you turned away from him again, closing your eyes. Steve signed quietly to himself resentfully accepting your answer. It killed him to watch the girl he loved slowly drive herself insane with the memory of her lost lover. This same sigh left his lips when he returned home from work everyday and found you in the same position.

It was now weeks later, in the same position floating in the pool. Anyone around wouldn’t be able to see the tear freely flowing from your eyes, your face was already wet with water from when you jumped in, fully submerging your body and for that split second your whole body was under the water… you felt at peace. The peace of not being able to use your senses. Not being able to breath, not able to hear or see… see him leave, just like everyone has before him. Before being able to stop yourself you sink fully below the surface of the water.

“Y/N it’s okay, come with me.” Billy’s voice rang through your head as water rushed into your ears. You feel peace when the burning feeling of losing air in your lungs.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.”

In a split second your eyes fly open as you gasp for air breaking through the surface of the water, the voice of Steve breaking you from the trance. You cough as you look up to meet the all too familiar concerned face of Steve, standing in the position as if he was ready to jump into the pool after you. “Y/N, what the hell were you doing!” You don’t respond, at the empty stare you return to him he speaks again. “What were you doing?” “Staying in the pool.” And drowning, so I don’t have to watch you leave. “No sh*t, come on, let’s get out for the day.” He reaches a hand out.

_

“Okay Eddie, truth or dare?” You stared into the center of the circle you were currently sitting in. The bowl of popcorn in the center of the table seemed incredibly interesting as you listened to the game of truth or dare going on around you. Steve had invited friends over in hopes to up your spirits. The presence of Robin, Nancy and Eddie seemed to be the best bet. “Switching it up, truth!” “Kiss, Marry, Kill. Me, Nancy and Steve.” “Kiss you because you’re gay, Marry Nancy, she can cook and sorry buddy but kill Steve.” “C’mon man! I can cook!” Steve threw his arms up in defense at Eddie’s answer. “Oh wait, do you want to marry Eddie?” Robin spoke seriously, to which Steve threw popcorn in her direction and they all laughed. “Alrighty, Stevie boy, Truth or Dare?” Steve rolled his eyes, “Dare I guess.” He shrugged, thinking nothing of his answer. “Kiss someone in this room, now notice how I said ‘someone’ and not ‘a girl’ because I know you want to kiss me, everyone does.” Eddie joked but it all stopped when without thinking about it Steve leaned over and pulled you back into reality when his lips met yours.

For a split second you felt the spark of life light within you again. The weight of the world was removed by something other than water. You felt like Billy was back again. You made the mistake of breaking the illusion but you moved to hold onto his hair… it wasn’t Billy. Tears begin to form and you quickly shove him off you, taking off for the backyard. “Steve what the hell?!” Nancy yells at him behind you. “Y/N!” Steve calls after you, taking off on your heel. Making it through the back door, you reach the edge of the pool, turning your back and falling into the pool taking no moment to come up from the water and it all seems like a haze until you’re pulled back up for air by Steve, who has joined you in the water. Eddie, Nancy and Robin all stood frozen in the doorway.

“Y/N what are you doing?!” Steve frantically yelled, shaking you, trying to pull you back to reality. “Let me go!” You yell back trying to pull your arm from his hold, which isn’t letting you go. “I’m not letting you go!” “Let me drown!” You scream at the top of your lungs, loud enough to have silence fall upon the scene before you. A sob finally left your body, as you collapsed completely into Steve’s body. He’s quick to ‘sh’ you, holding you so tightly in fear that you’d slip away if he didn’t hold on. “Guys help me get her out.” He turned to his friend quickly, and they rushed to the edge, Nancy and Robin grabbing a hold of you, pulling you from the water while Eddie assisted Steve. With both of you out of the water, Steve wrapped you in his arms once more, letting you know he was still there. “Let me drown. I can’t watch you leave.” You finally break and say into his wet chest. Steve’s heart snapped at last in that moment. “Y/N, look at me.” His hands find their way to each side of your face, forcing you to look him in the eye. There is where you see how much you’ve broken him. “I made a promise to myself that I’d never leave you, and I intend to keep that, do you understand. I’m not him.” That next moment you broke free of his hold, connecting your lips with his once more, feeling that spark come back yet again. Pulling back you hold your hands on your heart. “That.” You lightly tap your chest once more. “I haven’t felt that since he died.” You cried, and sobs continued uncontrollably as regret filled your body. “I never should have dated him, Steve.” Steve’s grip tightened in a way he didn’t think was possible. “It’s okay, it’s all over now.” “Please don’t ever leave me.” “I promise, I’ll never get tired of saving you from your own sadness.”